Please don't make me wear a headgear!

I admit it. I'm a two-timer. This is my second round as a metal-mouth. My first was back-in-the-day when braces were strictly in the realm of angsty teens. Now they're more like an adult status symbol. But status does have it's price.

I'm never sure whether I should grin broadly and display my extensive metalwork, or should I opt for the closed mouth grin and look like a constipated mime. I generally go for a quickie grin followed by a fake cough requiring me to cover my mouth . . . smooth.

And then there's food. Food and I go way back, but suddenly food comes with challenges beyond calories. The good news is I lost a quick 15 pounds my first month as a zipper-mouth. The bad news is, by the third month, I gained back thirty. And all that healthy green stuff I tried so hard to choke down several times a day-- no more. The way I see it, it's less gross if I have rice stuck in my braces than broccoli. I think my co-workers appreciate my thoughtfulness.

And then there's the Miss Manners question. When I find myself in conversation with someone who knows me -- but doesn't know about my braces -- should I make it easy and make a "braces reference" or should I let them squirm and pretend not to notice?

Adult braces should come with a primer. Any braces-wearing tips will be greatly appreciated. I can't be the only one who thinks Life Needs A Primer.