12: Compassion Brings New Eyes

My big lesson in compassion came over 30 years ago through a seemingly insignificant conversation with my Mom.  At the time, my Mom was working at J.C. Penney's, juggling a husband and a household with 3 of her 6 kids still at home. I was one of the 3 not still at home.

One day she called me ranting incoherently. I was sure something terrible had happened for her to be so distraught. When she composed herself enough that I could understand what she was ranting about - it was her haircut. That's right - her haircut.

In that moment, I saw my Mom as a regular person for the first time in my life. I was a young adult, but I still viewed my Mom as exempt from the ordinary day-to-day crap of life. A deep sense of compassion came over me. Suddenly, I realized she was coping just like everyone else. She wasn't a superhero after all.

I wasn't disappointed in the realization. I was blessed. I found myself seeing with new eyes. I become less judgmental and felt wide open emotionally.

I didn't make it too far into adulthood with parents. Mom died in 1977, Dad in 1982. I'm thankful for the realization while they were still living. Thanks for the lesson Mom. I love you.

This is #12 of my 30-Ways Challenge. It's definitely stirring up stuff in me. If you don't mind a bit of introspection, consider joining me. 

11: Courage...Put Up or Shut Up

I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.
I appreciate my courage.

Ok, that's it. I feel more courageous.  The question is, am I courageous enough to publicly admit personal shortcomings? We'll see...

Oops - What day is it?

Last time I checked I was on Day 9, which was girth appreciation day.  I'm not sure how it happened - but suddenly I'm supposed to be on day 13. Since it has become clear my 30 days aren't exactly going as planned - I've decided to rename this challenge the 30 Ways to Appreciate Myself. That way I've taken the guilt factor out, which definitely seemed counterproductive to the overall goal.

So here goes - ways to appreciate myself number 10: attitude.

My attitude is good unless it's not.

I've learned a few things along the line, and one is that a ping-ponging attitude, based on external events, is not a good strategy. For the most part I maintain an optimistic attitude, unless my daughter isn't.

If she is hurting or unhappy in anyway, it sends me ping-ponging. My head knows this is the worst thing I can do. Negativity does not need more energy flowing toward it. (It's a mom thing, not a smart mom thing, but a mom thing.) But as a smart mom, I know that what helps is to hold her in my mind, happy, smiling, full of energy, confidence and love. That's the energy I want to impart.

My attitude lesson is to hold the image of what I want firmly in my mind, regardless of external circumstances. Ping-ponging not allowed. I feel better.

Consider joining me on this 30-Ways Challenge. It feels good and it's guilt-free. How many things can you say that about?

Day 9: Girth day

I started day 9 determined to appreciate my girth, ie. my weight. Since talking to myself worked so well on blue eyes day, I decided to give it a shot while driving to the grocery store. I tried saying, "I appreciate my weight" a few times. It didn't feel right. It felt like I was saying "I like my weight," and that felt like a boldface lie.

Then I remembered what my sister, Mary, told me about affirmations and chocolate chip cookies. It went something like this, "I am thankful and appreciative as I am receiving my perfect body weight." The key word is receiving. It felt a lot better. I was happily repeating this to myself outloud on the drive to Meijer's. Once there, I continued mumbling it to myself as I walked through the cookie aisle.

Then my cell phone rang and it was Mary. She let me know I had the affirmation a bit off, and that my self-appreciation skills were lacking, to say the least. I have to agree with her. I'll try and do better tomorrow. It's attitude day.

This self-appreciation stuff is getting easier, but clearly I have work to do. Consider joining me.

Day 6, 7 & 8: Toes, Ears & Height

This isn't exactly going as planned. In my master plan, on day 6, I should have been appreciating my toes, ingrown nails and all. On day 7 I should have been marveling at the wonder of my ears, ringing and all. And on day 8 I should have been appreciating my lack of shrinking, chronology and all.

Instead it went something like this  - zip, nada, and what was I supposed to be doing again???

Which brings me to day 9 and a dilemma. Should I go back and give my toes, ears and height their due, or skip ahead to today's preassigned topic -- my weight?

Since I am of the female gender, my weight is definitely not something I appreciate. It is also not something I want to focus attention on, my attention or the attention of anyone else. Because I feel a strong resistance, that makes my decision clear. It's appreciate my weight day. I'll let you know how it goes.

Please consider joining me on this journey. I admit to being a less-than-stellar participant myself, but hey, nobody's perfect.

Day 5: Fingers

Day 5 started with an early morning appointment at a coffee shop near the Westfield Shopping Mall. During my 20-minute drive I was trying to muster up some warm fuzzies about my fingers. The best I could do was a brief moment of appreciation for my lack of arthritic joints -- definitely a good thing.  I gave my fingers maybe two to three minutes of attention and then began grousing about the abundance of orange barrels between me and the mall.

I got to the coffee shop, went in, ordered my double shot espresso and handed over my debit card.  That's when I noticed. The middle-aged woman waiting on me had a thumb, an index finger and three stubs where her fingers should have been. Not just one hand was affected, both of her hands were maimed.

What are the odds that on my fingers appreciation day I meet a woman missing her fingers?

Consider joining me on this self-appreciation journey. Click the 30-day challenge above to get started. I have to say, it felt a bit eerie today...

Day 4: Creative Spirit

Day 4 was easy breezy. From the time I was a kid, I've been told I'm creative. It's one of those "truths" about myself I embrace - unlike the truths I ignore.

Spending the day appreciating my creative spirit made me realize the power of labels. "Creative" wasn't exactly the label I was tagged with early in my life. It was "starving artist." It took me well into adulthood to realize starving artist wasn't one word. Eventually, I extracted creative from starving artist and have happily integrated that label into my identity.  Until today, I've never spent much time appreciating my creative spirit. It was good.

What can you appreciate about yourself? Click the 30-day challenge tab above and join me!

Day 3: Blue Eyes...So what

Day 3 was "blue eyes appreciation day." So what? Since day 2 was a total dud, I felt like I needed to jump start day 3. I decided to take my dog to the park. That way I could spend a good half-hour walking the trails while talking to myself - outloud - pretending to be on my cell phone. It went something like this, "I appreciate my blue eyes, oh there's a chipmunk, I appreciate my blue eyes, oops, almost stepped in dog crap, blue eyes, blue sky, poison ivy, there's another neon pink X on an Ash tree, what was that again, oh yea, blue eyes..."

Somehow I managed to yank my ADD brain back on track and for a good share of my walk, I gave thanks - outloud - for my blue eyes. My dog was extra happy since she thought I was talking to her the entire walk. By the time we got home, I was feeling less foolish about this self-appreciation experiment. The surprising part was that for the rest of the day, whenever I needed to surface from a negative vibe, the blue eyes thing sort of helped.

Try it, I dare you...click the 30-Day Challenge tab above...don't make me do this alone...

Day 2 was a DUD

Self-appreciating is not for the wimpy. I would size up day 2 as an all out DUD. As a general rule, it's not good to pick something about yourself to appreciate that requires Advil to get through the day. Feet were my preassigned item for day 2. Dumb choice. I have seriously high arches that are seriously falling. Falling arches are painful and pain made appreciating my feet difficult. Hopefully day 3, blue eyes day, goes better.

If you'd like to give self-appreciation a try, click on the 30-day challenge tab above.

Day 1: Gosh, I have a Great Knee

This is day one, and I admit to feeling a bit silly. My chosen item to appreciate about myself today is my right knee. Sexy, I know. My right knee is significant because thanks to a skilled orthopedic surgeon and an anonymous donor, it actually works the way a knee should work.

I spent better than a quarter century with a "trick" knee. In addition to predicting the weather, my knee routinely "gave out" if I so much as looked at a pea-sized pebble. This condition resulted in numerous less-than-graceful maneuvers and a total void of stylish shoes in my wardrobe - two distressing situations.

When I finally decided to have it fixed, I was shocked to learn the "fix" required a ligament from a cadaver. Once I got over the shock of a "cadaver" part in my body - I had the surgery and voila - no more trick knee.

Until today, I never stopped to appreciate my knee. I also never stopped to appreciate the person whose ligament I received. Thank you...

Click on 30-Day Challenge tab above to find out how you can join me on my 30-day adventure.